for "cant look you in the voice" - casual genius!

i wonder if this was the really the case (ie that she had the piles and piles of shit pages) or if it was actually that she in fact written almost nothing at all, barely started, and this was her clever way of avoiding "my grandma has died" or other go-to failsafe unanswerable excuse (that risked the possibility of being revealed to be a lie later on)